Open & Affirming – LGBTQIA+ Ministries

ONA is the embodiment of my fourteen year old self’s hopes and prayers. I have shared my story with anyone interested in listening. Growing up in a Catholic family made it very difficult to feel comfortable coming out. My family did not receive the news well and I immediately felt isolated. Although my friends were supportive, I felt like my family was using their religion to hurt me. My faith in the faith community was diminishing. One day when I was 16 I had a distraught conversation with a Catholic Priest. Crying, I expected him to continue the shaming but surprisingly he lifted my spirits and gave me hope. Ultimately, however, I knew that the Catholic community as a whole was not what I needed to be the best version of myself. I lost interest in going to church for many years.

One Sunday in the spring of 2015 I remembered a church on MLK blvd that had a large rainbow banner. I decided to visit it with an open mind curious of the juxtaposition: LGBTQ and faith? After the first service I attended (and while holding my then girlfriend’s hand) I was hugged and greeted by complete strangers as if I were family. I was so blown away by the openness and love at United Church of Chapel Hill. Learning about ONA and its mission to keep LGBTQ advocacy at the forefront of the UCCH platform is what keeps me motivated to be an active member of a church that looks out for me. Although with other communities I still wonder whether who I love isolates me, I now know that I have found a faith community that accepts me, welcomes me, and still fights for me.

I have twice now traveled with Rev. David Mateo and others to Tegucigalpa, Honduras. The purpose of our mission trips have been to bear witness to the injustices faced by the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community there, who are victims of extreme discrimination, prejudice, and violence. After each trip I came back a changed person, more empathetic, more hopeful, and more aware of the power of God’s grace.

On one of our trips we made repairs to a home that provides housing for HIV+ gay men, and HIV+ women and their children. It is also a shelter to those coming to the city seeking HIV/AIDS related health care. The house is one of the few available to people with HIV/AIDs who are often refused housing because of their disease.

Transgenders seem to bear the brunt of discrimination and violence in the country; they are easy targets. They are often victims of hate crimes, including murder, that go uninvestigated. They are denied education, and therefore, safe employment and the resulting dignity that comes with it. And the government condones for the most part, the cruel mistreatment of these marginalized people. Out of necessity, because of few other work options, some transgender’s are forced to prostitute themselves in order to survive.

What God asks of us, the prophet Micah said, is to love kindness, seek justice and walk humbly with the Lord. I saw the 21st century application of this 3,000 year old template while I was in Honduras.

My fellow travelers gave their own time and money to make the trip; they brought their various talents and found creative and resourceful ways to put them to use. These gifts were gratefully received from those we served. I learned there are no trivial acts of kindness or giving; giving in any amount, and even small acts of kindness add up, it means something; it’s powerful.

We went seeking justice in a country with the highest rate of homicide in the world, where many live in poverty, whose infrastructure is lacking and whose religious leaders (Catholic and Protestant) turn a blind and ignorant eye to those who don’t meet their moral test for compassion.

On one of the last days of our trip, Rev. Mateo presided over a brief prayer service that we held for the LGBT community. All who attended were also invited to receive communion and a blessing, something not available to them in churches in Honduras where they are not welcomed. Bread was blessed, broken and shared as a reminder that God is still with us, still loves us, loves everyone lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgender people and all, including these least and last, were welcomed at Christ’s table. Amen.

The Open and Affirming (ONA) ministry of the United Church of Christ (UCC) has made all the difference in the world to my spiritual and emotional life. After 25 years of writing off organized religion, I discovered the UCC through Glade Church in Blacksburg, VA. Starting then and continuing to this day at United Church of Chapel Hill, there are times I’ll be worshipping and say to myself, “I cannot believe there is a Christian church like this!” A spiritual home that accepts me the way God made me, where I can both live honestly and be active in the full life of the church, where I can attend Bible study and safely express doubts and questions. Thanks to the UCC and ONA, my life is so much fuller than it once was — with regular worship and prayer, and the opportunity to serve through music. During the years I didn’t attend church, I stopped making music. Having had it back in my life since 2005, I know now that my life was lacking something it dearly needs to be full — music making, in particular as a means of worshipping God.

Thank you, UCC, for giving me my life back.

I’ve told this story many times to family and friends, because this experience really sealed the deal for me in choosing UCCH as my spiritual home. Several years ago while “shopping around” for a church, my partner and I showed up one Sunday morning at UCCH. On this particular Sunday a baptism was part of the service. When it came time for the family and baby to join the pastor at the baptismal fount, we noticed right away that this was not your “traditional” family. Scouring the bulletin for details, it became clear that it was a lesbian couple’s baby being baptized. It appeared, however, that only me and my lesbian partner were surprised, albeit pleasantly, by this situation. The rest of the extremely welcoming, inclusive, progressive congregation of UCCH, were too busy committing their love and support to the newest church member. This was my first encounter with what it means to be an open and affirming church; witnessing this full participation by LGBTQs in the life of the UCCH community. Thanks be to God.

Our family’s commitment to be Open and Affirming (ONA) grew out of our own personal history and relationships. Experiences of feeling judged and rejected by peers during our early years inspired a core belief about extending true welcome to all people. And while we identify as cis-gendered and heterosexual, many of our friends, coworkers, and extended family members identify as gay, lesbian, queer, trans and/or non-binary. We celebrated with them and the broader LGBTQ community in June 2015 when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. We took and shared this picture on that day, in solidarity, joy and hope.

Welcoming and affirming LGBTQ persons is part of our morality and our faith. We know that the work of ONA is far from over. Great fear and ignorance still feeds hatred, bigotry, and violence —  breaking families, hearts and lives. Many LGBTQ persons still live in fear, denial and even self-hatred, internalizing hateful messages often promulgated and falsely justified by the church. Having witnessed the horror of HB2 here in North Carolina, we know that our active support of ONA, both as a church and as individuals, remains essential.

One of our favorite ways to celebrate and reaffirm our commitment to ONA is by marching annually in the Gay Pride parade. We began this family tradition with our UCC church in Gainesville, Florida. We walk and chant together, wearing “Gay and Straight Together” shirts, accompanied by a rainbow float and kids on decorated bicycles. The opportunity to proclaim our faith and love in this way often brings me to tears. This year we marched with UCCH for the first time, joining members of this church family and other UCC churches around the Triangle. United Church’s ONA members carried our rainbow-hued banner that reminds us of our call: to “Be The Church,” to proclaim love and acceptance and solidarity with the LGBTQ community and all other marginalized groups.

We welcome and celebrate this call as a path to collective healing. Only through justice and equity can we all be made whole.